The knowledge of God is very far from the love of Him.


30 Mar 2010

Normal

Ryan met me in the parking lot of the Family Video on a Saturday afternoon. We went inside carrying chairs and popcorn, set them up in front of one of those corner televisions in the back, and watched the movie that was playing as though it was our living room. After a half hour, once enough people had cycled through the store to give me something to write about, we packed up and left.

I was a high school senior, and my AP Psychology assignment for the chapter on mental illness was to go to a public place and do something deviant while paying attention to the reactions of the people around me. It was open-ended: we could choose to do whatever deviant act we wanted, and there were no guidelines other than the standard “stay within the confines of the law”. The assignment itself was a one-page paper about the experience.

It taught me something very important about what it’s like to be different. You may have the idea that people who are different get a lot of stares from others, but it’s not true. There wasn’t a single person who looked at Ryan and I for the duration of our deviance. They all walked around us, stiffly and awkwardly pretending everything was normal, as though it was normal to avoid eye contact at all costs.

No, a person who is different usually lives a life of isolation. We notice him in a public place, and these thoughts pass through our minds almost simultaneously: Something’s wrong with him. Act like he’s normal. Don’t stare—he probably gets that a lot. He’s just as much of a person as you are. Don’t let him know that you know he’s different. Just look straight ahead and keep walking. And in trying so hard to prevent him from feeling conspicuous, we make him invisible. I experienced this for a half hour. I can’t imagine a lifetime of it.

Is normal anything more than a democratic idea? I’m only normal because there are more people like me than there are like him. But I have a dozen disabilities of my own.


23 Mar 2010

Harelip Prayers

Every Sunday morning the Christian radio station in Waterloo broadcasts the live service of a small church in the area. When we had band practice before church, Matt usually picked me up right as this church’s band was playing. As we scanned the stations, we’d sometimes go right past their service, but other times we’d stop to listen for a few minutes.

One day as we listened, Matt’s nine-year-old son Ben, in his refreshing youthful transparency, said what Matt and I were both thinking: “These guys aren’t very good.”

It was true. The sound mix was unbalanced, the singers were off-key, and the music had no dynamics. As two musicians on their way to play in their own church band, it was easy for us to be critical. Yes, we sometimes made mistakes during our set, and we weren’t always together, but we definitely didn’t sound that bad. And if we did, we wouldn’t let ourselves be broadcast on the radio for the whole city to hear.

In David James Duncan’s modern masterpiece The Brothers K, the narrator, Kincaid, recounts a story from his fictional childhood. At his church was a girl named Vera. She was a harelip, which is a slang term for someone with a cleft lip, and this gap in her lip caused a severe speech impediment. One day at the end of Sunday school, she volunteered to give the closing prayer.

Vera’s passion is juxtaposed with her garbled speech as she prays: “Oh nYeesus! Nyearest nLord! How snorely nwee need nthy mresence!” Kincaid describes how the rest of the kids began to laugh and mockingly repeat her words (“Snorely!”), but that her determination was unwavering. She continued to pray with fervency to Jesus alone, with no regard for anyone around her, her words almost unintelligible, even as the Sunday school teacher tried unsuccessfully to cut her off.

Let me pause and consider where I could take this. I could say that the band on the radio had the musical equivalent of a speech impediment, a cleft lip, and the lesson to be learned is that it doesn’t matter how talented you are as long as your heart is in the right place.

But that’s not the point I want to make. Not exactly.

I have to go a step farther and say that God Himself fills the chair of Kincaid in that story, and that every last one of us, without distinction, is Vera. No matter how eloquently we may speak or how beautifully we may sing, it’s all impedimented in the ears of a perfect God. It’s only our delusion that makes us believe we are better than anyone else.

Those mornings on our way to church, Matt and I got a small taste of what our band must sound like to Him. I’ve come to realize since then that what we do often obscures who we are, and that the only true test of substance is to burn away all the layers of talent so that we are as God sees us: off-key, harelipped. When we played poorly, was it still evident that we were worshipping God? If our talent was lifted from us, would there be anything left?


16 Mar 2010

Wonder

It was late afternoon, probably sometime in November, and I was reading a book. The sun had reached the point in its descent where if I had just then started reading I might have turned on the lamp, but I could still read for a little while longer by the natural light coming in the window.

As I turned the page, my pupils began to expand in adjustment to the gradual dimming of the room. They must have overcompensated, though, because they began to contract, and then expanded again, as though they were trying to find their balance but kept falling forward or backward. After about the third round of this I finally noticed what was going on.

For a good two minutes I watched—is that even the right word?—as my pupils wavered back and forth indecisively. It was a miracle. It occurred to me that my pupils’ muscles tighten and relax thousands of times in a day, but I only ever notice it when someone points a flashlight in my eyes.

My sense of wonder withers away when all of my experiences fit inside the constructs of what I’m used to. At four months old I wondered that I could move my hand in front of my face, and at six years old I wondered that I could catch a fish from a pond with a worm on a hook. These are each legitimate miracles, but they’ve become ordinary to me.

It’s only when I become aware of these constructs that I can again experience wonder at the common things of life. In these moments I realize, with a clarity that comes so rarely and leaves so soon, that life is full of miracles and that all the ordinariness comes from me. How much of it do I miss?


9 Mar 2010

A Celebration of Excellence: Two Rivers Church

In August of 2003, some friends and I came to Des Moines for a Lifehouse concert. We decided to go down a few hours early to visit Willowbrook Bible Camp, since Christy’s dad was directing the high school camp that week and a few of our younger siblings were among the campers. We ate dinner with them and stayed for the evening session. The concert was at 8:00 so we had plenty of time to spare.

A guy named Rob was speaking at camp that week, and during that evening’s session he told us a little bit about the church he pastored called Two Rivers Church. I had been at one church my whole life at that point, and the things he said intrigued me. Community-focused small groups. A monthly picnic at a park in an impoverished neighborhood, open to everyone. It sounded pretty cool.

Then, as if anticipating my thoughts, he said: “You may be thinking this church sounds pretty cool and you want to check us out. You’re welcome to come and visit, but I’ll warn you ahead of time: We don’t want you. If you want to go to a church because it’s cool, this isn’t the place for you. If you go to Two Rivers, we expect you to get involved with us in our mission.”

A church that had expectations of its members? Rob’s ten-minute description of Two Rivers that evening lingered in the back of my mind during the next few years as I was developing my church theology at Emmaus Bible College.


In August of 2009, six years after the Lifehouse concert, Amanda and I moved to Des Moines. We brought with us a list of churches we wanted to visit in our search for a new ecclesiastical home, and we agreed that we’d go to each of them at least once before we made our decision. Well, we went to Two Rivers the first Sunday, and our search ended on the same day it began. We knew immediately that it was the one and that it’d be a waste of time to even look anywhere else.

Over the coming weeks, we learned that 2009 had been a year of big changes for Two Rivers: in March, they had unexpectedly merged with another small church in the area called Echo Park. Josh, the pastor of Echo Park, had been developing a friendship with Rob over the previous few years. One day near the end of ‘08, Josh felt God tell him very clearly: merge with Two Rivers. It was a crazy idea—both churches were healthy and growing, and merging churches isn’t something pastors just do for kicks. But out of obedience to God, Josh brought it up to Rob over coffee.

After a long discussion, they decided that they would take a few weeks to pray about it. Rob felt that the only way this would work is if the two churches complemented each other’s strengths and weaknesses, so to that end, he came up with a list of ten important character qualities for a pastor. They were to each rank their qualities from 1 to 10, with 1 being the strongest and 10 being the weakest.

When Rob and Josh met again, they compared their ranked lists: Josh’s number 1 was Rob’s number 10… Josh’s 2 was Rob’s 9. This pattern continued down the list until Josh’s number 10 was Rob’s number 1. With one or two minor exceptions, their lists were inverted. The very next month they held their first church service together.

The merge was complementary. They decided to keep the name Two Rivers Church since it had been around longer than Echo Park and had more recognition in the community. They kept Echo Park’s location at Callanan Middle School because it was closer to the part of the city that the church wanted to reach. And Rob and Josh became co-pastors together, alternating preaching each week and dividing up the pastoral responsibilities between them.

If a church division is the highest display of disunity, then a merge must be the highest display of unity; but while I’ve seen many churches divide, I’d never seen a merge before now. Praise God for obedience.


2 Mar 2010

A Celebration of Excellence: Bethany Bible Chapel

I said a few weeks ago that I have been a part of seven different churches in my life. What I didn’t say is that six of those churches have been in the past six years. But from the day I was born until the day I went off to college, I went to Bethany Bible Chapel in Cedar Falls, IA.

We in the youth group went our separate ways after graduating, but in the past year two of us have ended up in Des Moines, and we are once again at the same church. Christy and her husband Kyle started coming to Two Rivers a few months after Amanda and I, and as we introduce them to our friends, someone always asks how we know each other. Well, we’ve known each other our whole lives, I say; but each time I say it, it sinks in a little bit more how unusual this is.

Owing to our culture’s lifestyle of moving across the country every few years in pursuit of a job, as well as our intrinsic divisiveness, it’s rare for someone to remain at the same church through his childhood and adolescence. But my experience at Bethany was by no means unique. Our family photo album contains pictures of me as a baby playing with other babies (including Christy) with whom I would graduate eighteen years later; all in all, there were maybe five of us within a year of each other who were together from the nursery to the last day of high school youth group.

Christy and I have reminisced about our upbringings, and one of the many things we share in common is that we know the Bible better than just about anyone we’ve met outside of Bethany. We had the benefit of a phenomenal Sunday school program that covered just about every story in the book, and we were both involved in something called Bible Quiz which is essentially competitive Bible memorization. Add to this our Bible-centered summer camp and Wednesday night kids’ club, and you understand.

But Bible knowledge is only one aspect of our rich experience growing up at Bethany Bible Chapel. The picture I mean to paint is that Bethany provided a solid church environment for raising a family. In my generation, there are dozens more who attended Bethany for as long as Christy and I did because their parents understood this. And though life has led most of us away from that particular gathering of Christians, many have gone on to work for the Kingdom in such diverse roles as church planters, Bible college professors, and full-time youth camp staff—as well as nurses, software developers and waitresses, whose work is equally valuable to the Kingdom if it is done in the name of Christ.

Next to God and good parents, it was the dedication of the Sunday school teachers and the camp counselors and the Bible Quiz coaches and the youth leaders that made us who we are.


23 Feb 2010

A Celebration of Excellence: Kaio Church

Shortly after we were married and living back in Iowa, Amanda and I felt called to leave my home church and help out at Kaio Church, a new plant in Cedar Falls. Kaio was started in 2006 for one reason: there are still unsaved people in the city. Their singular vision as a church was simply to change that.

To that end, in April of 2007 we started an event called Grab a Brew, Share Your View. The premise was this: we met at a bar downtown on the second Tuesday of each month, and in an open-mic format we discussed topics of faith for about an hour and a half. After that, we moved into a group discussion where the rule was that you had to get with the person you most disagreed with. By the end of the night you’d have a new friend and a better understanding of his perspective.

Before we even held the first event (”What’s Wrong with Christianity?” was the topic), the freethinkers group at the University of Northern Iowa saw a flyer on campus and approached our pastor, Brooks, about co-sponsoring the event. Since that time, Grab a Brew has been a cooperative effort between Kaio and UNIFI. We’ve explored a variety of topics from religion to ecology to disasters, with monthly attendance ranging from as low as 10 to as high as 100 in its three-year history.

While Paul was waiting for them in Athens, he was greatly distressed to see that the city was full of idols. So he reasoned in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Greeks, as well as in the marketplace day by day with those who happened to be there. (Acts 17:16-17)

Kaio Church stands out as the only church I’ve been to that engages the culture head-on as Paul did in Athens: by meeting them where they are. Our pastor Brooks did not wait for them to come to us and to fill our church services, but instead he took us to to them. And in everything, he led by example. We didn’t know how to engage the culture; he moderated the event. We were hesitant to make friends; he invited them over to his house every week. A lot of people have been changed as a result.

It was never easy or safe, but what part of following Jesus is?


16 Feb 2010

A Celebration of Excellence: Fairbluff Bible Chapel

In the fall of 2006, Amanda and I decided to move down to the Charlotte area for the semester so she could finish her degree. She only needed six gen-ed classes to graduate, and community college in North Carolina costs about a tenth of what it costs in Iowa. Since we were both still working part-time jobs and were not leashed to any particular location, we thought it would make the best financial sense. It would also be a great opportunity for me to get to know her family. So in August we loaded up our cars and made the 20-hour road trip. I moved into her parents’ basement and got two jobs while she took her classes and worked evenings.

During the four months we were down there, we went to Amanda’s home church, Fairbluff Bible Chapel, a church of about 100 members. Interestingly, though Fairbluff is located in the middle of Charlotte, most of the families who attend do not live in Charlotte proper, with some of them driving up to an hour to meet on Sunday.

Charlotte has a considerable Hispanic and Latin American population. A few years ago, some immigrants from Honduras and Colombia started attending Fairbluff because it was the only Plymouth Brethren church in the area and that was the type of church they went to back home. But they barely knew any English. One of the members at Fairbluff was fluent in Spanish from his years as a missionary, so he offered to translate the sermons as they were preached.

Then more Spanish-speakers started coming. Within a year or two, the Spanish-speaking group at Fairbluff had grown to about ten, including a few who had been church leaders in their home country. The elders at Fairbluff suggested that these people start a Spanish-language service and graciously offered the church gym as a meeting place. Now there are 20 or 30 of them and their ministry is flourishing.

But the Spanish-speakers did not split off and form their own autonomous church. That’s the best part. They remained a part of Fairbluff, and everyone still meets together on Sunday mornings. I should explain here that Plymouth Brethren have an open-format meeting where anyone is free to pray, share a thought, or suggest a hymn as they feel led by the Holy Spirit to worship. And at Fairbluff, a song or devotional thought in English may be followed by a prayer or Bible reading in Spanish, though almost no one understands the other language and there is not a translator. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that a group of Christians are gathered to worship in the name of Jesus Christ, and worship transcends language barriers.

Fairbluff stands as a shining example of adaptation. They saw an opportunity from God, and they took that opportunity even though it meant changing the way they’ve been doing things for many years. And it was not without its cost: in the past six or seven years, Fairbluff’s English-speaking attendance has seen a decline in numbers. But the Spanish language ministry continues to grow! They are able to meet the needs of a demographic that Fairbluff had always been surrounded by, but until recently had been unable to reach. The city of Charlotte is ripe for the harvest.


9 Feb 2010

A Celebration of Excellence: The Great Adventure Church

I attended The Great Adventure Church during my years at Emmaus Bible College in Dubuque, Iowa. As a “Bible college town”, Dubuque had a very interesting church dynamic. There were four churches in town that were led by Emmaus faculty, and while they all shared the same theological beliefs, they were vastly different in structure and practice. In addition, students comprised over half of the church body, which meant that summers and holidays saw attendance drop sharply, and there was a very high turnover rate as students graduated and moved away.

The first week I went to Great Adventure, I was shocked when it came time for the offering near the end of the service. The person administering the offering gave the usual introduction saying that the Bible commands us to give our money back to God, but then he added that if anyone had need, they should not feel obligated to give—rather, they should feel free to take money from the basket as it was passed by. They said this every Sunday without any guidelines or restrictions. They had no way of knowing if anyone took money or how much. But in the two years I went to Great Adventure, they never had any financial problems.

This is not a practice that every church should, or even could, adopt. It would be ineffective at a larger church, and it would be abused at an inner-city church. But Great Adventure knows its people—poor college students, many of whom have gone far into debt to study the Bible—and meets them where they are. Just as we entrust God with our money by letting go of it every Sunday, the leaders at Great Adventure entrust God’s money to those who need it by giving it back.


7 Feb 2010

A Celebration of Excellence

I’ve been part of seven different churches in my life. These experiences have shown me that a church is very much like a person in a few different ways: no two are alike, they all have their faults, and most importantly, they all excel at something. In the coming weeks I’ll draw a profile of five of them and characterize something they did that left a lasting impression on me.

I want to point out in advance that my purpose in this is not to say that all churches should do all of these things, or that if an aspiring church planter were to combine all of the “good parts” he’d end up with the optimal church. No, that church would have more faults than any of these! Rather, the optimal church strives to be only what God has called them to be, resisting the lures of comparison and conformity to other churches. The optimal church meets the unique needs of their congregation and their community, and this will look different for every local gathering.

So as I profile these churches, understand that it’s not a prescription for success, only a celebration of excellence.


23 Jan 2010

Rich Mullins: Closeness to God

I’m all the time being asked by people, “How do you feel closer to God?” And I kind of always want to say, “I don’t know.” When I read the lives of most of the great saints, they didn’t necessarily feel very close to God. When I read the Psalms I get the feeling like David and the other Psalmists felt quite far away from God for most of the time. Closeness to God is not about feelings. It’s about obedience. … I don’t know how you feel close to God. And no one I know who seems to be close to God knows anything about those feelings either. I know if we obey, occasionally the feeling follows. Not always, but occasionally. I know that if we disobey, we don’t have a shot at it.

Jesus said, “Whatever you do to the least of these, my brothers, you’ve done it unto me”, and that is what I’ve come to think: if I want to identify fully with Jesus Christ, who I claim to be my Savior and Lord, the best way that I can do that is to identify with the poor.

This, I know, will go against the teachings of all the popular evangelical preachers. But they’re just wrong. They’re not bad, they’re just wrong. Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in a beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere near you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved, and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken.

—Rich Mullins, from a concert in Lufkin, TX on July 19, 1997, two months before he was killed in a car accident


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